Drawn Election Week 2016
Written shortly after Thanksgiving 2016, Updated December 2016
November, as I imagine on a grand collective, was a very difficult month for maybe most people. The minute that the election results came in, everything went straight to hell and stayed there clear through Thanksgiving. Still going. We can't even have pizza without getting in a fight now, it seems.
What a fucking shit show. We were (are) now officially stuck in a shitty alternate reality; where every single nightmare that educated, mild mannered non-racist people can conjure up is on the verge of coming true, up to and including cool people straight up dropping dead on us. Someone stole the Almanac, and we all know who it is.
Amidst the wreckage of soured feelings and strained relationships I began to wade through my own mind and really ponder the wakeup call that humanity has received. We were complacent, fat and happy in our tired relationship with the status quo. We as humans were not ready to receive the glory of a new tomorrow, full of progressive ideas enriched by science, technology and diversity. We simmered in our own ignorance, and idly sat by as underlying problems began to boil. For once, we had entered an era of generally positive progress, where authorities in charge of our society were finally starting to bend towards the age of social enlightenment.
And we grew fat and fucking lazy. We all heaved in our indulgences. The latest app. The hottest hashtag. The shiniest new toy. The neon, the cream, the brunch hours with silken napkins and white privilege.
We let this whole piece of shit happen, because we grew complacent. We were the idiot ex with holey socks and a video game problem, coddled by legalized cannabis and CNN® breast implants.
We the shitheads decided to care about useless things. Assholes with too much money and the women who love them. Coked up alpha males in flip flops making the next selfie stick pornography machine.
We as human beings are the stupidest, most self destructive assholes ever to exist in the universe. We want great things, but we the people do not want to actually put the work in to fucking do it. We instead love to destroy ourselves with war, racism, famine, pollution, and genocide. We insist on rape culture, we insist on value systems written in poorly translated books by shitty condescending assholes from the Middle East who died long ago, we insist on holding onto pipe dreams built by our shitty forefathers who had their own best interest in mind, not the future of humankind itself.
We do not deserve to live on this planet, or any planet we so desperately want to colonize next. And yet, here we are! What is next for us? Will we stand up and fight for what is right, now that we have to work for what we truly need to survive? Will we stop arguing with one another over shit that really does not concern our survival instinct? Will we stop killing and raping each other over petty, meaningless impulses that corporations keep enabling us to compulsively jack off with?
Here's to hoping that We The Shitty Alternate Timeline can coast into a suitable existence. If not, then I certainly hope that we can look back years from now and see this as a turning point, a moment when we decided that we wanted to at least fucking try,.